Memorial Day

A few weeks ago, I was loading my daughter into the car after visiting with my parents when my Mom asked me a difficult question.  "Now that you're a parent, do you understand a little better why Thomas's death affected me so much?"  (My little brother Thomas, for those of you who aren't familiar with my family, was killed in combat on November 11, 2004, at the age of 20.)  I had to agree with her that having my own child gave me new perspective on losing one.  Losing a brother left me devastated, but losing a child... I'll stop there.  Let's just say that I am amazed at my Mother's strength.  Becoming a mother has strengthened my love, admiration, and respect for my Mom more than I thought humanly possible.  Love you Mom!

Before 2004, Memorial Day was all about sales and barbeques, the beach and starting Summer.  The last several years, the holiday has meant something a little different.  I spend the day missing Thomas so much it hurts, and thinking of all the other families that are hurting right now as a result of the war.  I think about all the veterans that are walking around with memories of their fallen friends, and I weep.  I found myself angry every time I heard someone say, "Happy Memorial Day!" or I saw yet another ad on TV for the "Super Memorial Day Sale!"  I was angry that the majority of our country does not understand the meaning of Memorial Day, judging them all for their ignorance.

I must say that this year marks a turning point for me.  I find my anger diminished, my patriotism re-established, and my love for my brother less painful.  Thomas died defending his friends and his country.  He defended our right to be free and to live our lives in the pursuit of happiness.  I will always miss him, but he would want us to enjoy remembering him and his fallen comrades.  This year, I vow to judge no more.  Those who have been untouched by this war, may their innocence go untarnished.  Those who do not understand the meaning of this holiday, may they learn to respect their troops and the sacrifices they make.  Those who use this holiday as an excuse to barbeque and shop great deals, may they continue to exercise their rights as Americans, since that's what the fallen died for in the first place.  I, for one, will be barbequing, and plan to toast Thomas's memory this afternoon.

Be safe this holiday weekend, and be sure to toast our fallen soldiers today.

For the love of blueberries!

Happy Mother’s Day, mommies!  I’m not a big fan of Hallmark holidays, but let’s celebrate this one by spreading love and joy to all the other mommies around us.  Every day should be Mother’s Day, so let’s look at it as the “New Year’s Resolution” for moms, a Mother’s Day Resolution, if you will: I vow to reassure, encourage, thank, or learn from another mom every day.  I promise not to judge other moms for their decisions, and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are making the best decision for their child.  Sounds easier said than done, but perfection is worth striving for…

The other day, I was at Target browsing through the baby food aisle looking for teething biscuits, and a mom and her mother were shopping for baby snacks.  “Blueberry flavored?  I thought they weren’t supposed to have blueberries!” the mom exclaimed.  “Don’t risk it,” said her mom.  “Oh, I’m not.  Why are they making these?”  I restrained myself from commenting.  Where on earth did she read that blueberries were deadly?  I can see holding off on whole blueberries (they are larger than peas, and could be a choking hazard for a child just starting on solids) but what’s wrong with blueberry flavor?  There seems to be so much confusion out there about what is and isn’t safe for our children to eat, when from what I’ve read, a lot of pediatricians have lifted most restrictions on a child’s diet.  The rules seem pretty simple now.  No honey or cow’s milk until they’re a year old.  Hard stuff that requires grinding with teeth (like nuts) could be a choking hazard.  Breast is best, but formula is a safe alternative.  The rest is up to you, mommies.

Some parents choose not to give their children anything that may be an allergen until they’re older, but studies have shown this does not prevent allergies from occurring.  A friend of mine, who grew up in Israel, shared with me that in her country a baby’s first snack is made with peanuts.  It’s similar in texture to a soft cheese curl, but the flavoring is made with peanut butter instead of neon orange cheese product.  Peanut allergies are virtually unheard of in Israel, and you’ve got to wonder… is this because the Israelis expose their children to peanuts early on?  Or do they just cultivate their peanuts without various pesticides and genetic alterations?  I’d be curious to see a study done on Israeli babies with American-grown peanuts… but I digress.  Bottom line, it makes sense to watch your kids when giving them something new to see if they have a reaction, but you’re watching them anyway, right?  Keeping an eye out for signs of choking?  You could take it a step further and avoid giving them anything new during hours that the doctor’s office is closed, too.

Today’s real-life parenting example does not include a “mean mommy” comment, but rather, the lack of one.  I stopped myself from saying “Where the hell did you hear that?” and kept my mouth shut.  Notice that my Mother’s Day Resolution is not only to avoid being a mean mommy, but also to be an encouraging and supportive mommy.  What could I have said in the baby food aisle to make this mom feel good about what she was feeding her child?  “What did you hear about blueberries?”  “Oh, my daughter loves those, and they seem to dissolve easier than Cheerios.  You could always try the sweet potato flavor, if you’re unsure of the blueberries.  What did you read about berries that you don’t like?”  I’m just throwing out ideas here, and wouldn’t mind hearing some of your comments on the subject!