A few weeks ago, I was loading my daughter into the car after visiting with my parents when my Mom asked me a difficult question. "Now that you're a parent, do you understand a little better why Thomas's death affected me so much?" (My little brother Thomas, for those of you who aren't familiar with my family, was killed in combat on November 11, 2004, at the age of 20.) I had to agree with her that having my own child gave me new perspective on losing one. Losing a brother left me devastated, but losing a child... I'll stop there. Let's just say that I am amazed at my Mother's strength. Becoming a mother has strengthened my love, admiration, and respect for my Mom more than I thought humanly possible. Love you Mom!
Before 2004, Memorial Day was all about sales and barbeques, the beach and starting Summer. The last several years, the holiday has meant something a little different. I spend the day missing Thomas so much it hurts, and thinking of all the other families that are hurting right now as a result of the war. I think about all the veterans that are walking around with memories of their fallen friends, and I weep. I found myself angry every time I heard someone say, "Happy Memorial Day!" or I saw yet another ad on TV for the "Super Memorial Day Sale!" I was angry that the majority of our country does not understand the meaning of Memorial Day, judging them all for their ignorance.
I must say that this year marks a turning point for me. I find my anger diminished, my patriotism re-established, and my love for my brother less painful. Thomas died defending his friends and his country. He defended our right to be free and to live our lives in the pursuit of happiness. I will always miss him, but he would want us to enjoy remembering him and his fallen comrades. This year, I vow to judge no more. Those who have been untouched by this war, may their innocence go untarnished. Those who do not understand the meaning of this holiday, may they learn to respect their troops and the sacrifices they make. Those who use this holiday as an excuse to barbeque and shop great deals, may they continue to exercise their rights as Americans, since that's what the fallen died for in the first place. I, for one, will be barbequing, and plan to toast Thomas's memory this afternoon.
Be safe this holiday weekend, and be sure to toast our fallen soldiers today.
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